At least, not in the goading-myself way,

But in the dude-you-messed-up kind of way.

Touch wood but what if one day people'll get so annoyed with me that they walk out of my life...

I can't even bear to think of that happening.

I would be crushed

And would resort to eating Ben&Jerry's all day long

:'(

Seeing someone get annoyed at you is not something you want to experience every day.

Even a simple, angry "Tsk!" can make me feel super useless and guilty.

But then my brain just goes,

LOLSIES WHO CARES C'MON FINE LADY MORE INTERNET FOR YOU

Too weak to resist.

How do people actually have so much self-control and motivation...

To slap open their books,

Sit their asses down,

And study so hard until they forget the time?

Or at least till they get in the zone.

Why can't I be like that...

I want to experience that again...

Annoyance is a scary feeling to be against.

Not angry, yet angry.

Is the person mad at you?

Or mad at him/herself?

Wouldn't ever know.

Ha!

What a good wake up call that was.

Good to the brink of being scary.

Scratch that, it happily flowed into the scary zone.

Wasting the parents' money like that

A blank future is a horrifying prospect.

I really wish I had back up plans like Laura does

(Prata maker)

Honestly though come to think of it

The embarrassment would be way way worse.

Even more reasons to be scared!

Haha sorry if you're reading this and totallllyyyyyy confused about WHAT I'm talking about.

Just trying to keep everything vague y'know

Even though those involved will immediately know sigh.

Studying

Is such a simple word

But so hard a task

Who can I rely on but myself to study hard?

My future depends on this

Ah crap starting to tear again

Side note sore throats are not fun.

Not fun at all.

Honey + lemon does not work for me

And I'm sucking on these Chinese med pellets from Edwin

SO DAMN BITTER

Will try gargling salt water tomorrow!

.

.

.

Oh my goodness gracious me the pellets are BITTER