To Eliana Law:

It's 5:07am right now and all i'm feeling is a sense of inadequacy.
Feeling criticised, feeling fat, feeling stupid, feeling bad.

I don't know why I let constructive criticism go to my head and mess up my thoughts; I put a negative spin on what was meant to be helpful. Perhaps I exaggerate the tone in which people tell me things and put them on a loud, roaring megaphone on repeat in my brain. Feeling fat, fat, fat: I really don't have a thigh gap and I kinda get a headache whenever I inspect myself in the mirror. It's unhealthy to discuss about fats in Palmerston because there'll be a big uproar and then I just get so... complacent and stuff my face with more food. It is not good to say that I'm good in anything because then I believe you and stop improving myself. Stupidity in procrastination: putting off the essay due Monday till Saturday afternoon and then still daring to play, laugh and ignore work. Stupidity in being tired and doing stupid things. Feeling bad for being so horrible to David. You're too nice for your own good and I know I'll take advantage of that one day. I suppose I have already. Can you please just wake us up when you want to sleep in your bed because YOU NEED TO SLEEP TOO

Feeling unwell.
I think I'm tired.
This is not me and I want to be refreshed, awakened, bubbly again.

On a side note I learnt a new word today, maladroit.
It means to be tactless and clumsy, awkward, bungling things up.

Not bothering with nice colours for this post because these thoughts are just monochromatically walking around my head in a neat line.

Hi there!