I feel like a rock being slowly worn down by the elements...

And by my own fault too, for falling into the water.

At the start of the year, I was still a round, solid rock
Still happy and cheerful always no matter what

And then slowly through the months
By people, by school, by circumstances
Slowly wearing down
Slowly being stretched thin
Slowly losing my cool all too easily

Ugh where is that inner joy and peace I used to have
Seek it in God, is what I would say
But how do I
When I spend less time with Him?
Have to devote more time to the Almighty one..!

Sorry to everyone for being a burden and a slacker
Never partner with me
I don't even know why I'm not taking all this seriously

Everytime someone comes in and asks,
"So how's your (whatever assignment)?"
"Hahaha, 0 words"

And at first they laugh too
"Haha, gotta do it soon! There's not much time left!"

Then they start to get worried
"It's getting late..! Quick Joy!"

Finally they realise i'm a gone case
"...." *facepalm*
"Whatever. Do whatever you want."
"I want to treat you as an equal, but I need to scold you!"

And I just.
Waht happened to me.
I'm not like this, you know?

Not the kind to laugh off important deadlines

I admit that I'm a last minute person, but never to this extreme...

I don't know...

Why...

Help

My character has just spiralled downhill ever since a few months ago

I can't pinpoint the reason, but I just feel like there's something amiss

I just want to let it all go